Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
