I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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