remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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