If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize