He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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