Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i think i have two assholes
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
