nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
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I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
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And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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