Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Is Oprah even human
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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