she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
