An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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