My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
