Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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