Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
