Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
