you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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