I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
