it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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