Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
