I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
