my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize