It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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