Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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