who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
