This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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