I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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