Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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