bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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