I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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