We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Randomize
