I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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