i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
