Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
