i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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