just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
