508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
