i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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