where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize