Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
The best revenge is premature balding
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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