he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
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Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
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She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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