All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
