No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
