It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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