It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
