is wine microwaveable?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
