I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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