i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Bring me that man meat
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
