Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
