dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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