They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
