I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
