what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just invented taco cereal.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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