You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
