I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
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