maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
