CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
