fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
