You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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