It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
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