I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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