i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
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