You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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