Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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