i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
