I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
