i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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