I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
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he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize